The Adventures of my Action Figures
by S. E. Holmes
Summary: After a month of laziness, chapter 6 is FINALLY POSTED. Enjoy! ^_~
1. Chapter 1

The Adventures of my Lord of the Rings Action Figures 

By waterfall2014

Christmas Day I was playing with my brother's Lord of the Rings action figures and making up stories about what they were doing. My two brothers were soon watching and listening to me, as I was doing the whole thing out loud, and when I was done, I was told I should post it on the internet. So here goes...

~~~~~~~~~~~ = Different scene

~...~ = Me talking

* = translation at the bottom

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Three days from Rivendale.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Action Figure Aragorn , hereafter known as Aragorn, was walking through the woods. Action Figure Legolas , hereafter known as Legolas, was with him. It was a beautiful summer day, blue sky, puffy white clouds, singing birds, warm breezes, blah, blah, blah, you get the idea. However, it was not a good day at all, because the night before a troop of Action Figure Orcs, hereafter known as Orcs, had attacked the two friends, and Legolas, to put it bluntly, had become a Elvin pincushion. He had gotten shot with four poisoned arrows and was now unconscious.

Now, don't get me wrong, Leggy-dear had done a good job of fighting, but while they had been defending themselves, Aragorn and Legolas had gotten a bit separated. When Legolas looked up for about half a second to see where Aragorn was, an Orc hit the side of his head with it's sword hilt. And then, taking advantage of the stunned Elf, three Orcs had shot him, one of them hitting him twice. When the Orcs started to celebrate, Aragorn came up from behind and took them out two at a time, won't go into any detail there folks, I want the rating to stay at PG. So the Orcs were all dead and Legolas was lying on the ground, not moving.

Needless to say, Aragorn panicked. But Legolas wasn't dead, just poisoned. ~And that's not bad at all, now is it?~ For the rest of the night, Aragorn attempted to cure his friend, but his fever refused to brake, his breathing became ragged and shallow, and his skin had become cold and clammy. That was when Aragorn decided he had to take Legolas to a skilled healer, and began his long trek to Rivendale, which was the best and closest place to go. 

So on this otherwise perfect day, Aragorn was carrying an unconscious, bleeding Legolas to Rivendale, which was three days away, because Legolas was going to die without any help, and it was beyond Aragorn's skill to heal him. 

Major, major, deja vu here, people. 

Anyway, there they were, walking along, okay, Aragorn was walking and Legolas was being half carried and half dragged, whatever, when Aragorn heard the sound of a galloping horse. He knew Orcs didn't normally travel on horses, but he wasn't going to take any chances. Aragorn carefully laid Legolas on the ground and he drew his sword. 

And out of the foliage burst a white horse being ridden by...

Action Figure Arwen, hereafter known as Arwen!

She stopped Action Figure Asfaloth, hereafter known as Asfaloth, and jumped down. 

"I Valor!* What happened, Aragorn?" She cried as she rushed towards them. 

"We were caught by a band of Orcs last night. Legolas was shot with four arrows and has a concussion. I have done what I can for the concussion and bound the arrow wounds with strips of cloth, but I do not have the necessary medicines to heal the poison from the arrows. We must get him to Rivendale quickly."

Arwen nodded, "Yes, that would be best. I have no healing herbs with me either. Do you know what type of poison it is?"

"All I can tell it is fast-acting, and very potent. It affected him very quickly, and Elves are much more resistant to poisons than this."

"Alright," Arwen began, "Who-"

"What happened?!" Came a voice from behind them both.

Arwen and Aragorn whirled around to see...

Action Figure Boromir, hereafter known as Boromir!

"Wha- But-How?" Aragorn stammered.

Arwen stared blankly at Boromir, "Shouldn't you be dead?"

"Yes." Boromir stated.

"Uh, then why are you here?" Arwen asked.

"Waterfall made me come." Boromir answered.

~Leave me out of this, Boromir!~

"Oh. Sorry." Boromir said. "So, what happened to the Elf?"

"Orc poison from four arrows." Aragorn stated shortly, not wanting to explain the whole thing again. "Arwen, Boromir, I am going to take Legolas to Rivendale. I will get there faster on Asfaloth. Meet me there. I will see you in three days." 

He turned to pick Legolas up, but Arwen stopped him.

"Arwen, what are you doing?" He asked in bewilderment.

"Aragorn, dear, I know you're worried about Legolas and all," She said, "But I should be the one to take Legolas to Rivendale."

"Why?"

"Because," She answered, "Asfaloth is my horse, he will be less nervous and go faster if I'm riding him."

"But Legolas is my friend! You hardly know him!" Aragorn said.

"Aragorn," Arwen gave him a comforting pat on the arm. "Legolas is very good friend of mine. I've known him for centuries."

"It's not my fault I'm not immortal!"

"I never said that."

"Well," Boromir said, "Since neither of you can seem to decide who gets to go, maybe I should do it. It would be fair that way."

"How would that be fair?!?!?!" Arwen and Aragorn cried simultaneously.

"It wouldn't be fair if one of you two got to go and the other had to stay here. So, if neither of you goes, you wouldn't feel nearly as bad." Boromir explained as if talking to toddlers. ~Which is what they're acting like.~

"That is the dumbest thing I ever heard of!" Aragorn yelled.

"Anyway," Arwen said, "Don't you have something important to do, Boromir? Something to do for your father?"

"Arwen, he thinks I'm dead."

"Oh."

"And," Boromir continued, "Don't _you_ have something to do? I mean, you weren't just ridding you horse three days away from Rivendale for fun, were you?"

"Actually, I was."

"Oh." Boromir blinked. 

"I'm going and that's that." Aragorn stated with all the authority a king would have. 

"No way. _I'm_ going." Arwen retorted.

"I am!" Boromir said looking ready to pout.

"No, me!"

"Me!"

"ME!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Acton Figure Gimli, hereafter known as Gimli, was taking a walk in the woods. He had been visiting the Hobbits in the Shire and was now on his way to Rivendale to visit Aragorn and Legolas, who was also visiting Aragorn. He whistled as he walked along. It was a beautiful day, and he, oddly enough for a Dwarf, wouldn't have gone into a cave even if he was near one. 'I've been around that Elf for too long.' He thought. In truth, he missed his friend, and was looking forward to seeing Legolas and Aragorn. But he was still three days from Rivendale. 

Suddenly, he heard shouting from up ahead...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Well, that's Chapter One! Chapter Two will be up soon, look for it!

I have bought more incense, so all Flames will be used to light my Inspiration Incense. 

* Elvin. 'The Valor!' 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

By waterfall2014

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or any related characters. This disclaimer can serve for the first chapter as well, because I forgot it last time. Sorry to the people who care. 

~~~~~~~~=Different scene

~...~=Me talking

* =Translation at the bottom

'...'= Thoughts

Shoutouts are at the bottom. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Three days from Rivendale~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

...Gimli knew that there were reports of Orc sightings in the area, and being one Dwarf against who knows how many possible Orcs, he quietly crept closer to the sounds of shouting. As he got closer, however, he realized that there was less of a reason to worry, the voices were shouting in the common tongue and the voices defiantly did not belong to Orcs. Still taking no chances, he got down on his hands and knees and crawled under some bushes. Upon peeking out, he saw what was going on and let out a snort of laughter. 

It was Aragorn, Arwen, and Boromir, standing in a circle, shouting at each other. Gimli would have kept laughing, however at that moment something clicked in his mind.

'What on Middle-Earth is Boromir doing here? He's dead! How could he be here? Oh wait. I know.' He shook his head, 'This must be one of Waterfall's facfics.'

~Leave me out of this, Gimli!~

Gimli's eyes got round, 'Waterfall! You can hear my thoughts?!'

~Yes, now, do as I say and leave me out of this.~

'But,' Gimli continued, not about to be silenced that easily, 'You're the one writing this story. How can you be left out of it if you're writing it?'

~Darn it Gimli, you have spent way too much time around Merry and Pippin. Now STOP BEING ANNOYING AND GET ON WITH THE FRECKIN' STORY!!!~

'Okay, okay! Calm down!' And with that disturbing experience he got up and began to walk over to his three friends.

He had taken about five steps when he realized that he was walking toward not three of his friends, but four. 

And the last one was lying on the ground looking like death warmed over. 

"Legolas!" Gimli cried as he ran toward his injured friend. He kneeled down and stared for a minute in shock at the blonde Elf in shock before turning to the others. "What happened?"

Aragorn, Boromir, and Arwen paid no attention to him and kept arguing about whom should be the one to take Legolas to Rivendale. 

"Hello?!?!" Gimli shouted, waving his arms and jumping up and down in a vain attempt to get their attention. "Hey! What happened to Legolas?! Why will you not pay attention to me? Why is Boromir alive? Have any of you heard the freaky disembodied voice of Waterfall? Why do Elves get to be immortal and Dwarfs don't?" He stopped for a moment to pout before remembering that finding out this information was not important. "Hey! Guys! I'm not wearing the Ring of Power! You can see me perfectly well!"

After continuing in this manner for a few minutes, he noticed Asfoloth. 'Hmm.' He thought, 'I could take Legolas to Rivendale, and by riding on Asfoloth I could get there much faster than by walking.'

So he bent down and drug Legolas over to Asfoloth. The horse seemed a bit apprehensive about the strange creature, but also seemed to understand that he must get the two of them to help. 

Gimli had just begun to wonder how in Middle-Earth he would get both him and Legolas onto the horse when Asfoloth kneeled down so they could get on more easily. 

"Thank you," Gimli smiled, sitting Legolas on the saddle. He then got on and draped Legolas's arms over his shoulders so he wouldn't fall off. 

"Okay, Asfoloth, (he knew the horses name because he had heard Arwen shouting it) let's get Legolas to Rivendale."

With that, Asfoloth stood and began to gallop the long way to Rivendale. 

And Aragorn, Arwen, and Boromir were still arguing. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Action Figure Frodo, hereafter known as Frodo, was ready to maim something. Namely, Action Figure Merry and Action Figure Pippin, hereafter known as Merry and Pippin. 'Curse my stupid cousins.' He thought. After the visit from Gimli, Merry and Pippin had decided that it would be fun to go to Rivendale and then the Fellowship would be reunited, with the possible exception of Gandalf, who was off doing mysterious stuff that wizards do, the Valor knows what, and with the definite exception of Boromir, who was dead. O what fun this would be. So Merry and Pippin were dragging Frodo and Action Figure Sam, hereafter known as Sam, across the Wild lands with a map that was being read upside-down. 

"Hey, Frodo, Sam! Hurry up!" Shouted Pippin. He and Merry had gotten ahead while Frodo had been wondering if he had enough material and thread to make little Merry and Pippin voodoo dolls. 

"Are you alright, Mr. Frodo?" Asked Sam, who was walking in the back so he could keep an eye on everyone.

"Of course I am, Sam. I'm being lead halfway around Middle-Earth by two maniacs." Frodo gave Sam a sarcastic, demented smile. "Why wouldn't I be fine?"

Sam gave an anime-style sweatdrop. "Um, alright, Mr. Frodo." He then scurried to catch up with Merry and Pippin. 

~Actually, I don't think they would have sweatdropped in Middle-Earth, but whatever. This is my world. And I have the Powers of the Authoress and the Purple Magic Wand. Fear my wraith. And my insanity. Mwahahahahaha. Ahem. Right then, on with the story...~

Frodo sighed. 'Stupid, stupid cousins.' He thought. 

He had just begun to mentally go over the contents of his pack looking for pins for the Merry and Pippin voodoo dolls when he ran smack into Sam. Pippin, Merry, and Sam were standing stock-still in the middle of the faint path that wound through the woods. 

"What are-" Frodo began.

"Shh! Listen!" Merry said in a whisper.

Frodo was just considering hitting Merry upside the head with a rock to see how well he could listen when he was unconscious, when he heard it too. Voices were shouting just up ahead...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

To Europa: Thanks very much! Tee hee. That would only confirm my parents suspicion that I'm insane. Oh well. As long as they don't send me back to that awful white room with the white padded walls and the cot and the meanies in white uniforms who make me take sleepy shots. ^_~

To Daisy G: Yes. I guess you could tell anyway. The Hobbits are going to play a big role in future chapters. Of course the sugar helps! I read your review, then ran to my brother's room where he was reading my copy of The Hobbit. I then said 'HI HI HI HI.' and ran out, laughing insanely. Oh yeah. Loads of fun. Gosh, my youngest brother has gotten Lord Of The Rings action figures for two Christmas's now, and has a monster collection. 

Saruman with Seeing Stone, Aragorn, Boromir, Legolas, Gimli, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Arwen and Asfoloth taking a wounded Frodo to Rivendale, Frodo and Sam in a boat, the Witchking Ringwraith (the lead one), and an assortment of Orcs, Goblins, and Urak-Hai. Thanks for reviewing. 

We need Gandalf, Eowen, Eomir, Faramir, and some Wargs. Lots of Wargs. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

By waterfall2014

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or any related characters. Have you ever wondered, if the person who owns Lord of the Rings (Christopher Tolkien, I think) wanted to write a Lord of the Rings fic, would he have to do the disclaimer? Questions, questions.

'...' =Thoughts.

~...~ =Waterfall talking.

~~~ = Different scene.

© = Stuff that is mine and you may not use it without my permission. 

I'm so sorry that I haven't updated sooner! School started back up and from here on out the only time I'll be able to update will probably be on weekends. Forgive me. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

..."Who's shouting?" Merry whispered, looking scared.

"I don't know." Sam replied softly.

"Maybe it's people arguing over what to do with their extra second breakfast." Pippin whispered, looking hopeful. 

The other three Hobbits stared at him in dumbfounded silence.

Pippin hadn't noticed. "Do you think they'd give some to us? I'm hungry."

Merry was looking as though he was ready to do to Pippin what Frodo had wanted to do to him. "You idiot!" He screamed in a whisper, "It could be-" Here his voice faltered. He took a deep breath and continued, "Urak-Hai."

At that dreaded name, the Hobbits shuddered. Nearly all of the Orcs, Urak-Hai, Goblins, and other foul creatures were gone from Middle-Earth, killed, but it was still a possibility that they were there.

"Wait!" Frodo said, stopping his companions from running away, "Let me check." 

With that Frodo pulled Sting half-way out of it's sheath. It wasn't glowing in the least. They relaxed and Frodo's pretty blue eyes lost their worried look. ~^_^~ 

"Yay!" Pippin cried, "Let's go get some Second Breakfast!"

With that, he ran towards the sound of shouting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gimli had been riding Asfoloth without stopping for four hours now. He was tired, hungry, and saddle-sore, but was to worried about Legolas to care. The Elf was still unconscious. As they rode, Gimli kept glancing over his shoulder to make sure the Elf was still breathing. He was.

"Darn it Elf, you had better live." He muttered, his voice gruff with worry. 

Just then, Asfoloth gave a long whiney. Gimli looked up to see what was, at that moment, the most blessed sight in Middle-Earth. 

Rivendale.

Gimli gently kicked Asfoloth to make him go faster. There was no need, however, the horse was going as fast as he could to get the injured Elf and his friend to help. 

Or maybe Asfoloth was just hungry. 

I mean, you work up an appetite running four hours strait carrying a Dwarf in armor and dead wait. 

As they rode into the courtyard in front of the home of Elrond, a horse came up beside Gimli. On it was Action Figure Saruman, hereafter known as Saruman. 

Gimli gave a shout of surprise. "Saruman! What are you doing here?"

"Shhh!" Saruman hissed, "I'm not Saruman! I'm _Elrond_!"

"You expect me to believe that?"

"Yes."

Gimli gave a snort of laughter, "How dumb do you think I am?"

"There ain't words to describe how dubm I think you are. But the point is, Waterfall needed Elrond for this part of the story, and she doesn't have an Elrond Acton Figure. So I'm filling in."

"I do not believe you."

~Darn it, Gimli! More trouble coming from you!~ 

"Eep!" Gimli squeaked. 

"Waterfall, can you explain this to him, puh-leeze?" Saruman said with annoyance. 

Gimli nearly fell off the horse, "You can hear her too?"

"Yes, you idiot!" Saruman snapped.

~If the two of you could shut-up, I would be forever grateful. Now, Gimli, Saruman is playing the part of Elrond, he's not going to trap you on top of a tower, he is a _good person._ Get Legolas, who is bleeding to death, to a bed so Elrond-Saruman can heal him, Elrond-Saruman, do not answer any calls from your Seeing-Stone until your shoots are over for the day. You two got it?~

"Yes, Waterfall."

"But-but-I _need_ to answer those calls! Sauron was going to call me today!" Saruman cried.

~Saruman, right now, my eyes are flaming with anger. So do what I say.~

"But," Saruman continued, "I can't see you. I have no proof that your eyes are flaming with anger."

~DO AS I SAY OR MAY THE VALOR HELP ME I WILL TAKE AWAY YOUR SEEING-STONE FOR A MONTH!!!~

Saruman began to cry, "You are so mean to me Waterfall! You aren't being fair!"

~I'm just doing what's best for you.~

"How is making my bestest friend in the all of Middle-Earth mad by not being able to talk to me a nice thing? It's making him suffer too and he didn't do anything wrong!" 

~What if I take away your staff instead?~

Saruman gasped in horror, "Noooooooo! You can't take Betty away from me!"

~Oh for the love of murder, you didn't _name_ that thing did you?~

"Don't be mean to Betty!" Saruman clutched his staff protectively. He began to stroke it. "My Prrrrrrreciousssssssssssss." 

"Um," Gimli said tentatively, "This may be a bad time, but the Elf is three steps from Deaths' door and if he dies King Thranduil won't be very happy."

~Oh. Right then...Carry on.~

"Follow me." Elrond-Saruman said. They began to ride toward the Last Homely House.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Priny: Yeah. That fic wasn't very good. I might re-do it sometime. I just kind of got tired of writing it and finished it really fast. No offence taken.

Whitecoyote: ~laughs~ Yeah, playing with LOTR action figures is fun. It's nice to know that, even though you're crazy, you're not alone.

A.N.C: Unfortunately I have never been to a psychiatrist. Or maybe it's fortunate...Hmm. Strait jackets don't look very fun.

Daisy G: Thank you very much! I should end up having a wide variety of characters. 

To all Pippin fans: I'm sorry I made fun of Pippin. I really do love him. I just needed a character to pick on a bit. 

I NEED YOUR HELP: I'm planning on writing a song fic, and I need the title/artist/album of the following song:

'...Cause she's so hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh high above me, she's so lovely, cause she's so hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh above me, like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite...' 

Thanks!

All Flames will be used to light my Inspiration Incense.© 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

By waterfall2014

'...'= Thoughts

~...~= Me talking

~~~= Different scene

© = Something that you may not use in your stories without my permission.

Disclaimer: One day I shall own the world. That will include Lord of the Rings. Please note that I said 'one day.' In the meantime, I shall settle for owning a bunch of books, a movie, and a poster all centered around Lord of the Rings.

Note: I'm sitting here being really comfy. I'm wearing a pair of sweatpants that are the ugliest shade of turquoise you ever saw, a t-shirt that is large enough to be a tent, and my fuzzy purple slippers. My hair is thrown back in a gigantic orange scrunchie with small black dots. The overall effect is quite glamorous. 

Note #2: I realize you're all as mad as a hornet because I didn't update last weekend. Sorries to you fab reviewers, but I was busy. You see, I have declared my room to be a separate country, B.U.A.D. (Bother Us And Die) It's pronounced like bad, only with a w after the b. It is located in Antarctica because it is minus 200 degrees in there. It doesn't matter if that's in Fahrenheit or Celsius, because either way it's cold. Anyways, I was busy with the constitution and getting my army of Teddy Bears ready to go. Once again, I apologize. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Gimli sighed and shifted in his chair. Late afternoon sunlight streamed in through the long windows and the sound of songbirds reached his ears. He was sitting by a large feather bed with silken sheets that held the sleeping form of the Prince of Mirkwood.

He had _finally_ gotten the Elf into a room where healers had cleaned and bound his wounds. He, luckily, stayed unconscious while they were working on him, because some of his wounds had required stitches.

About two hours ago, Legolas had slipped out of unconsciousness and into a restful sleep. 

'I wonder how much longer it's going to be until he wakes up.' Gimli mused, 'I would have thought he would have by now since Elves heal so fast.'

The sound of a knock startled the Dwarf out of his wonderings. He got up and quickly walked over to the elegantly carved wooden door. Upon opening it he came face-to-face (or rather, face to a bit above half-way up) with one of the many servant Elves that worked in Rivendale. She carried a covered tray in her hands. 

"My name is Celolith. I brought you and the Prince of Mirkwood some supper." She said, walking towards a small table by the bed, "It should stay hot until he wakes up."

"Thank you very much." Gimli said as the serving-Elf sit the tray down. 

"You're welcome. If you need anything, I will be at the very end of the hall." Celolith said as she reached the door. 

"Right." Gimli said, "'Bye."

"Good-bye." With that, Celolith left. 

~By the way, if I catch you using Celolith without permission, I will Flame you with a Flame annoying enough to rival President Bush's speeches. ~cough~ Right, well, on with the chapter...~ 

Gimli sighed. He shuffled back to his post beside his hurt friend, not giving a glance toward the food. 

'I hope he wakes up soon.' He thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Pippin, wait!" Frodo hissed through clenched teeth. 

"It's too late." Merry moaned as his cousin disappeared in the underbrush.

"We should go with him." Sam said, drawing his sword. 

"Right." Merry and Frodo said simultaneously, drawing their own swords. 

The three Hobbits took a deep breath and charged toward forward to save Pippin. Upon bursting through the bushes they nearly impaled him their swords, however, because Pippin was standing there stock-still with a shocked impression on his purty face. 

"Pippin! Wha-" Frodo began,

But then he saw quite clearly what.

Aragorn, Arwen, and Boromir were standing in a circle a bit ahead, yelling at each other. 

"Wh- Bu- Ho- Who?" Sam stammered. 

"...Impossible..." Merry whispered.

"Last time I steal weed." Frodo muttered.

"I know," said Pippin, "They aren't eating."

The other three Hobbits stared at Pippin a moment before deciding to just ignore that last comment. 

"What should we do?" Sam asked.

"I guess we should go talk to them." Merry said.

Frodo didn't say anything, but nodded. He walked up to the arguers with the other three Hobbits trailing him closely. 

"Um, Aragorn?" He said carefully.

Aragorn gave no sign he had heard or seen Frodo, which was a bit of a shock to the four Hobbits. After all they knew of his fab seeing/hearing/tracking abilities. ~Which you all saw in The Two Towers.~

"Aragorn?" Frodo said louder.

Still no response from the arguing idiots.

"Stupid tall people." Merry muttered. 

The Hobbits tried jumping up and down, shouting, chucking a various assortment of rocks and sticks at the stupid tall people's heads, but to no avail. Finally, they gave up and dropped to the ground, panting. 

"What are we going to do now?" Sam asked, looking to the West at the sitting sun.

Frodo thought for a moment about their situation, "Well, we might as well make camp here. We could not get very far at all if we started walking again, and we need to get them," He pointed his thumb at Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli's, "To stop shouting and to walk."

"Right." Merry said.

With that the four Hobbits began to set up camp. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

To Daisy G: Review, review, review! Thank you so very much for the title and artist for the song! Now I can do my little Arwen/Aragorn ficcie! I love Frodo's paranoid face too! It's so adorable!

To complaining!: It's not that I have anything against Elves. It's just that my brother's Legolas action figure is holding a bow and his upper arm stays stuck out. I was trying to figure out what to do with it, and I thought: Why not have it setting on Aragorn's shoulders in a friendly way? But then I got the idea that it would be _so_ much more fun if I had Legolas's arm over Aragorn's shoulder and Aragorn was carrying Legolas because he had gotten shot. So that's why. Though, having Aragorn get shot might be fun...~evil grin~ 

To Whitecoyote: Hmm. Star Wars figures and dinosaurs? Ho boy. That could be a quite entertaining. Thank you so much for the review!

Europa: Actually I think that's a different song. But thanks for your help anyway. And thanks for reviewing! 

If you Flame me in a fit, my Inspiration Incense© will be lit. I know this poem is pretty bad, but it was the best idea to be had. So if you want this poem to end, a long review you must send. 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

By waterfall2014

Disclaimer

I do not own Lord of the Rings

I do not own any related beings

However, I do own the story line,

So don't use it 'cause it's mine

Author's Note: The world is out to get me. So I won't have much time to update. I am so darn sorry about that.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

...About mid-morning, Frodo opened one eye a crack. Something was up. He sat up, blinking, wondering what had woken him. The sun had just come up and was shining through the trees. Birds were chirping their heads off, getting worms, fighting over places to sit on branches, and doing whatever else it is that birds do. Ya know, the normal morning stuff. So what was it?

Then Frodo realized what had woken him up. It was the silence. The Stupid Tall People had stopped arguing. Spinning around to be sure, he saw that Aragorn, Arwen, Boromir were indeed no longer shouting, but were standing in a circle with Sam, staring at something on the ground and whispering about whatever it was. Frodo pulled himself sluggishly out of his blankets and made his way softly over to where the others were. 

"What are you guys do-AH!" Frodo jumped back in shock. Merry and Pippin were lying in the middle of the circle on the ground, moaning. "What happened to them?!"

Aragorn sighed, "They apparently broke into our food sacks last night and ate all of our Lembas." It seems to have given them a stomachache."

"Gee Einstein, ya think so?" Boromir said in an annoyed voice. Then he blinked, "Wait a minute. Who is Einstein?"

Sam also blinked, "I dunno."

"Me either." Frodo replied.

Aragorn and Arwen shook their heads.

~Boromir!!!~

Boromir jumped about three feet, "What?!?! Where is that voice coming from?!?!?!"

~Darn it Boromir! First Gimli causes trouble and now you! Why can you people not just continue with the story?~

Boromir fell to the ground and began to sob, "I should have listened to them! They told me! They told me to take the pills! But did I listen? Noooooooooooooooo! And now look at me! I am hearing the voices again!" With that Boromir began to sob even harder than before.

~Oh for the love of murder! Boromir, you _know_ that it's me! You talked to me in the first chapter! I'm the only reason you're here and not dead!~

Boromir stopped sobbing and sat up, "Oh. Waterfall. Yeah."

~-_-~

Aragorn cleared his throat a bit nervously, "Um, Waterfall?"

~Yes?~

"Um, you said Gimli was causing trouble, right?"

~Yes.~

"That would mean you've been writing about him, right?"

~Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees.~

"Then where is he?" 

~He is currently sound asleep, sitting in a chair, which is beside a sleeping Legolas, in a guestroom, in Rivendell.~

"Oh." Aragorn said, "Right then. But-WHAT?!?!?! LEGOLAS?!?!?! LEGOLAS IS ALIVE?!?!?! AND IN RIVENDELL?!?!?! BUT HOW?!?!?!?!?! HOW'D GIMLI GET HIM?!?!?!" 

~*sigh* Gimli took Legolas to Rivendell on Asfoloth when you three were arguing and yes, Legolas should be just fine. He will need a little bit of time to heal. That's all.~

Aragorn and Boromir looked relieved. Arwen, however, looked as though something was not quite right.

~Something wrong, Arwen?~

"Weeeeeeeeeell...I guess not...O.O* WHAT?!?!?! ASFOLOTH?!?!?! THAT STUPID SHORT DWARF TOOK ASFOLOTH?!?!?! WHY?!?!?!"

~...I guess it was because Legolas was dying...and that 'Stupid Dwarf' wanted to save him. But that's just a guess...~

Arwen stood completely still and considered this new information for awhile. Finally she gave her verdict, "I guess...that it was okay that Gimli borrowed Asfoloth."

~Good job Arwen! You have successfully shared your things with a good attitude! I am so proud!~

-_-

"Waterfall?" Boromir asked.

"Yes, my dear schizophrenic Boromir?"

"Can you take us to Rivendell?"

~What do you mean?~

"Well, can't you just zap us there with The Powers of the Authoress or your Purple Magic Wand?"

~Yes.~

"All right!" Boromir yelled, "Let's go!"

~...~

"Um, Waterfall?"

~What Boromir?~

"You were going to zap us to Rivendell..."

~No I wasn't.~

"But you said-"

~I said that I _could_ zap you to Rivendell. But nowhere did I state that I _would_.~

"But-but!" Arwen stammered.

~Cat got your tongue, Arwen?~

"No, but I can't!"

~...Can't what?~

"Walk all the way to Rivendell!!!" Arwen cried, "It took me three days to get this far on Asfoloth! By walking, that'd take us six days at least!!! I can't do it!!!"

~Look at it this way. You won't have to go to the gym for awhile.~

"What is a gym?"

~Erm...~

"Arwen makes a good point, Waterfall." Frodo said, "We couldn't just walk there. We don't have any food. We, with the probable exception of Merry and Pippin, would starve to death."

~Leave it to a Hobbit to think of food. Merry and Pippin only ate Aragorn, Arwen, and Boromir's food. Isn't there any in your packs?~

Frodo's face brightened, "I had forgotten!" With that, he ran off to check his pack. He began to search through it, more and more frantically by the second. In the end, he just dumped the entire contents of the pack on the ground. He gave a cry of dismay, "There's no food in here! It's all gone!" He ran to Merry, Pippin, and Sam's packs, only to find the same thing. "Oh no!" He groaned. All of their food was completely gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Legolas stirred slightly and opened his eyes. Blinking, he looked at his surroundings. 

'Let me see,' He thought, trying to place where he was, 'Big room, lots of sunlight from really big windows. That over there appears to be a balcony. How very spiffy. I'm lying in a great bed with...Ooooo, silk sheets and silk pajamas. And lots of fluffy pillow. Very spiffily nice. I've always said that fluffy pillows are essential to any bedroom. Hmm. Nice wood carvings. Wow. That vase over there looks to be Ming. Wait a minute. Ming? What is that?'

~Erm...It means it's from the Ming Dynasty.~

Legolas gave a start. "Waterfall?" He said aloud, "Is that you?"

~Yes. I do believe so.~ 

"Do you know where I am?" 

~Mm-hmm.~

"Where?"

~You are in the House of Elrond. And it is ten o'clock in the morning, on October the twenty-fourth, if you want to know.~

"I thought it was the middle of July."

~...Whatever...~

"You just hate it when you're wrong don't you?"

~You are far too concerned with details for anybody's, especially your own, good.~

"Oh sure. Pick on the invalid."

~I assume you remember what happened then?~

Legolas scowled, "Yes. I got shot with four poisoned arrows, and Aragorn, Arwen, and Boromir were being complete bakas and stood there arguing whist I was bleeding to death."

~I'm picking up on some tension here.~

"No duh, Sherlock. Wait a minute. Who's Sherlock?"

~Um...~

"Legolas!" Legolas jumped at the sudden shout. Turning his head, he saw that Gimli was now awake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arwen was getting more and more ticked off by the second. After a good deal of whining, complaining, worrying, pouting looks, etcetera, they had all finally started out walking the long way to Rivendell. They had gotten started about noon, and it was now dusk. Every inch/centimeter/whatever it is that they use in Middle Earth of the way, Merry and Pippin had moaned about their sore stomachs, Frodo and Sam had sore feeties, and Aragorn and Boromir were 'Sooooo hunnnnngryyyyy.' You see, Waterfall, being the currently caffeine-deprived person that she is, decided to make the little group get there own food. _~There is plenty of fruit on the trees, pick that for your supper.~_ In response to the complaints that greeted that proposal, Waterfall said _~Fruit is good for you and will give you energy. Be grateful that you _have _an energy-giving drink. _*sniff* _My coffee is gone...~ _

"Well," Aragorn said, "It's getting dark. We should find a place to set up camp."

Soon they found a nice clearing in the trees perfect for a camp. As they began to settle down for the night with the loud sounds of rumbling tummies and grumbling beings, Arwen sighed. 

'This is gonna be one looooong night.' She thought, drifting off to sleep... 

__

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To Anon: I would never be so cruel as to kill Legolas. Torture him, yes, kill him, no. Thank you for reviewing.

To Whitecoyote: Sorry it was so short. But thanks for reviewing. ^_^

To Europa: Preeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty. Now my Strawberry-Melon Incense is making the house smell nice. Thanks for your review! 

I DISLIKE FLAMES. IF YOU FLAME ME, THE CONSEQUENCES WILL BE AS HORRIBLE AS IT IS IN MY POWER TO MAKE THEM. AND CONSIDERING THAT I HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU FLAMERS REALLY BE, I GUESS I'LL JUST BE TICKED AND NOTHING ELSE. DARN.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

By waterfall2014

(**) (**) (**) KIRBY DANCE!!! = Different universe

Disclaimer: Let's see...is Lord of the Rings mine...that's a toughie...I'm going to guess...no. Same goes for Kirby.

Authors note: Loads of hugs to all my reviewers. I realize full well that I haven't updated in somewhere along the lines of forever, just please forgive me and read on.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

...Arwen turned onto her side and curled up into the classic fetal position, shielding her eyes from the early morning light with her blanket. She knew perfectly well that she had another long day ahead of her and would rather not face it until she had to. Unfortunately, Fate a.k.a. Waterfall has decided that if she is awake, everyone gets to be awake. Because at that moment six voices disturbed the early morning calm with a loud

"ARWEEEEEN!"

Thinking fast, Arwen decided that feigning sleep would be the best approached, 'As long as I'm quiet and still, they'll think I'm asleep and go away.' 

Boy was she wrong.

(**) (**) (**) KIRBY DANCE!!!

Leggy-Chan: Huh? What happened?

Waterfall: We went to a different universe.

Leggy-Chan: What's it called?

Waterfall: Nothing, yet. I haven't picked a name. 

Leggy-Chan: Can this be Kirby Dance Universe?

Waterfall: Why?

Leggy-Chan: Well, it only makes sense because the Kirby Dance happens when we come here.

Waterfall: Fine then.

Leggy-Chan: What's Chan mean?

Waterfall: Oh that. It's a little thing that you plunk on the end of names to show affection. It's Japanese. I.e., neko-chan means cat-dear. Neat, huh?

Leggy-Chan: I thought you were learning French.

Waterfall: Yeah, I am, but I thought it'd be fun to have a wide variety of languages in this fic. 

Leggy-Chan: Ah. Anyway, why'd you take the fic to Kirby Dance Universe? 

Waterfall: I've a question. Why do people say 'Oh boy?' and 'Boy was she wrong'? Why don't they say 'Oh girl' and 'Girl was she wrong'?

Leggy-Chan: This is important how?

Waterfall: T_T It just is.

Leggy-Chan: I have no idea, then, but why don't we go back? I miss my soft feathery bed. 

Waterfall: Oh fine.

(**) (**) (**) KIRBY DANCE!!!

"Why won't she wake up?" Frodo said, looking annoyed. He picked up a random stick and began poking Arwen with it. 

"She's probably just really tired." Aragorn commented.

"Yeah." Sam said.

"But what if she isn't just asleep or tired?" Boromir said with wide eyes, "What if she is...dead?"

Everyone, including Waterfall, who had no idea that Boromir was about to say that, blinked. Aragorn then whacked Boromir upside the head.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"For being stupid." Aragorn said, "She can't be dead, she'll never be dead, she's an Elf! Elves are immortal!"

"Actually, you're wrong, Aragorn." Sam said, "She gave up her immortality for you, remember?"

"Oh." Aragorn said, "Yeah. But she's too young, anyway."

Frodo glanced over his shoulder and wrinkled his nose, "I know that whole 'I love you sooooo much that I'm going to give my immortality and never see my people in the Grey Havens' thing is supposed to be all sweet and sentimental and stuff, but it seems more along the lines of a Soap Opera to me."

"_I_ thought it was wonderfully touching and- Wait a minute, what's a Soap Opera?" Sam asked.

"...I dunno." Frodo said.

"But you're the one who said it." Sam countered.

"I know." Frodo said, "Waterfall, what's a Soap Opera?" 

~...~

"Waterfall?" 

~Yeeeees?~

"We are waiting to hear your words of wisdom."

~Quiet. You are too loud.~ 

Frodo stuck his tongue out, "Am not."

~Be quiet and respect your elders.~ 

"Waterfall," Sam said, intervening, "We can't seem to get Arwen to wake up. What do you think we should do about it?" 

~...I dunno. Throw water on her.~

"Like that's going to work." Sam muttered.

~I bet it would.~ 

"Waterfall?" Sam asked.

Silence.

"Oh just duckily great." Boromir said. "She left."

They all turned back to Arwen, who through all of this had been lying on the ground, apparently sleeping. 

"What are we going to do with her?" 

Aragorn seemed deep in thought. "Well," He said at last, tentatively, "Waterfall's probably right." With that he left for a moment.

"Since when?" Sam asked.

~Shut up, Sam.~

Sam looked surprised, "I thought you left!"

~Sam, Sam, Sam, I _did_ leave. This voice is just a figment of your imagination.~

"What?! It is?! Oh wait." He looked relieved, "You must be lying."

~Me? Lie? *sniff* What a horrible thing to say. You hurt my feelings. *sob*~ 

"No! No! I didn't mean it like that!" Sam said hurriedly, "I meant that you were kidding! I-Oh great." Sam stopped as Waterfall began crying hysterically.

Let's have a re-cap. Sam is trying to comfort a hysterically crying disembodied voice, Aragorn is momentarily gone, Merry and Pippin still have stomach aches, Arwen is feigning sleep, Frodo is poking Arwen with a random stick, and Boromir is just standing there, looking bored.

And on with the story!

Just then, Aragorn came stomping back through the trees. In one hand was a water canteen which had just been filled at a nearby creek. Or as we in Greene County say, crek. But I don't think you really care about us. Anyway, Aragorn walked over to Arwen and poured the entire contents of the canteen on her face. Sputtering, Arwen jumped up madder than a hornet. 

"See?" Aragorn proudly stated, "I got her to wake up."

His joy was cut short upon turning around and coming face-to-face with the canteen. The next thing anyone knew, Aragorn was lying on the ground, unconscious, with a red mark on his forehead. Arwen stood over him, the canteen in one fist and a look of murder etched on her face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You're awake!" Gimli shouted in relief.

Legolas smiled, "Yes, I believe so" 

"How do you feel?" Gimli inquired.

"Ready to kill a certain ranger, an elf princess, and the son of a steward." Legolas responded.

Gimli nodded his head, "I agree with you on that one, but you can't do anything until you eat something." He gestured to the tray of food the servant Celólith had brought about half an hour ago, at what time she also removed the tray of untouched food from the night before. Legolas sighed and lifted the lid off the tray.

"Very well," He said, handing Gimli one of the plates and getting one for himself, "I want to get up and about as soon as possible."

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Bluebell: You are absolutely right. I can just see Lurtz on a stage, playing an electric guitar and screaming into a microphone. ~laughs~ Thank you for the review!

Whitecoyote: Wow! You're family is reading this? Neat-o. Thanks for your review!

Europa: Why do they make those stupid dorm rules? It's unfair. Fortunately, the only person who doesn't like incense in my house is my brother. ~sigh~ He doesn't know what's good for him. Thanks for reviewing!

Anon: Like I said, I could never kill Leggy-Chan. ~smirk~ As soon as he gets to feeling better, we'll get to see what he thinks of The Stupid Tall People's treatment of him. Thank you for reviewing!

Lilly Blackstar: Thanks you so much! I'll keep writing if you keep reading! (and reviewing!)

A Special Thanks to Ashley who gave me the idea for the Kirby Dance. Even though I just kinda sorta used it and she doesn't know...~cough~ Thanks Ashley!

Flames will light my Lilac Inspiration Incense. 


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